Do you ever stand in your way, not moving forward, and not sure why this is so?
It seems like there's an invisible wall holding you back, nothing you can quite put your finger on, but you just don't get to do what you know you need to be doing?
There's something resisting the forward movement. Some part of you believes that moving forward is dangerous, and it's doing all it can to stop you in your tracks.
Of course there's other parts of you that want you to move, progress, take action. They want new great things for you.
And there you have it....internal conflict. You want to do something great, and at the same time you just can't get yourself to move forward with the actions.
What's the way out of this?
For me, step one is always to acknowledge that this is happening. Stop for a moment and instead of frantically running around in circles, looking for that next inspiration that will propel you into action...just BE. Observe what's going on inside you.
What are the different parts of you saying?
Is there one part or voice that says "you mustn't stay still, you're wasting time! We have to act, quick!!"
And another one saying "there's no use making a move unless you know it's the right one...keep figuring it out until you're 100% clear on what to do and how to do it"
Another one going "why are you not moving forward, it's much easier than you make it look, why are you complicating things"
And yet another that goes "What's the point of all this, it's best if you stay where you are and stop even thinking about it".
How do you move past these conflicting messages inside you?
Firstly, by realising that it's completely normal to have such internal dialogue. It is so common to feel conflicted inside, and yet we don't speak about it enough, because there's another part of us that's shaming us and convincing us we'll be judged if anyone ever finds out our internal struggles.
That part may be whispering "What do you think others would think of you if they knew about this inner mess...best keep it to yourself".
So we try and put up a brave mask … but the struggle continues.
Until we are willing to EXAMINE what the different voices inside us have to say, we stand little chance of making a sustainable change for the better, the forward movement we so want.
Once we examine the inner talk, and give the voices some "air time", this takes the edge off what they're saying and how they're saying it. Their messages start to sound softer and more compassionate....it's like the heavy lid that we kept on top of them has been lifted and they can breathe again.
When they're constricted, these parts of us are a bit like a dog on a chain gradually getting more aggressive, because their nature cannot be expressed. A dog wants to run around, frolic in the meadows, chase other animals, play with other dogs, be cuddled and talked to. It craves to express itself.
It's the same with the different parts of us. And whilst you may be afraid of some aspects of them … you need to understand that they're vicious only until you are brave enough to let them out and give them some freedom. Until you're willing to be present with them, because they are there.
They're part of you for a reason, and they've appeared in your life when you needed them. Maybe that was a very long time ago, and those circumstances have changed, but the old coping mechanism remained because you haven't consciously updated it. Instead, you let it run its outdated programme, and when it got increasingly painful to be confronted with it (e.g. being shamed for feeling a certain way) you perhaps put a lid on it, and unconsciously decided never to look at it.
But just as energy cannot be destroyed, and these parts of us are essentially different energies that we have available to us, they also don't just go away. They keep coming up, and the more you reject them, the more vicious they'll feel.
Energy can be transformed however. And the more you dare to face the different parts of you, and integrate them into your life, the more they'll transform and contribute positively to your life.
The vicious Inner Critic transforms into our constructive inner feedback, the Perfectionist eases off and allows us to do things well enough and feel good about it, Inner People Pleaser stays kind to others but allows us to stand up for ourselves and maybe erect some boundaries.
All of a sudden (after much inner work!) you feel the invisible wall dismantle, and nothing is standing in your way anymore. The parts of you are on your side, backing you instead of stopping you.
You are free to BE yourself, when you allow yourself to be just that. The whole YOU.
You have the awareness of the whole, and you're in the central place from where you make conscious choices of how to express yourself in each moment.
We perceive the different parts of us, or selves, as different patterns of thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. The more you bring these parts into balance within you, the more balance you have in your thought, emotions and your entire life.
From that place you are finally able to get the important work done, and feel elated about it.
For me this is the way to overcome inner blocks - in your work, relationships, your self-image, you name it. And that's what made me commit to a lifelong work of being as true to my (whole) self as I possibly can. It makes life work better.
I'd love to hear from you - what has your experience with standing in your own way been? And what do you do to move past it? Let me know in the comments or contact me directly :)
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