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We are always communicating

How to do it well by being an Empowered Communicator

What is Empowered Communication?

It's a quality of communication that comes from a place of deep awareness, groundedness and acknowledgement of all parties in communication. That is acknowledging the various (even conflicting) parts of you, as well as all the other people involved.

It works towards a win-win for all communicating parties.

It means bravely stepping out of the shadows and saying your Truth.

The whole truth. From a place of centred awareness and not from a wounded place.

Owning your vulnerability in the process and without projecting blame onto the other. Owning your response and allowing the other to respond in kind.

Also owning your personal (and energetic) space and setting appropriate boundaries. While keeping an open heart.

What are the elements of empowered communication?

  • Honesty with yourself first
  • Owning your vulnerability AND your power
  • Coming from a place of centred awareness
  • Respecting the other and yourself
  • Owning your internal response, not projecting it out/seeking to blame
  • Being mindful of the intention & purpose behind each communication
  • Communicating openly - with yourself and others

The Benefits of empowered communication

  • Your message lands in a way that feels better for everyone involved
  • You feel free because you're not keeping your truth hidden inside you anymore but have learnt to communicate it openly 
  • You feel more connected - to yourself, and to other people
  • Your relationships improve, and you don't end up in arguments spiralling out of control
  • You have more inner peace and clarity of mind
  • You feel more confident because you know you can always express yourself authentically and can influence situations for the better
  • You are more persuasive without trying to be
  • You ask for what you need in an appropriate way
  • You have more energy and a sense of personal power

How to be an empowered communicator

  • DON'T ASSUME, ASK INSTEAD. Rather than assume you know what the other person you're communicating with thinks or feels, ASK them instead, and then let them speak.
  • TRULY LISTEN. Give the person time & space to say all they have to say, without jumping in with comments or composing a comeback in your head while they're still speaking. Treat them with the same respect and attention you would like to be treated with.
  • PRACTISE SELF-AWARENESS. Keep looking under the surface of your knee-jerk reactions to situations. What is REALLY going on here? Might an earlier wound been triggered? Who within you reacted the way it did? It helps to see the present situation as unique and keep your emotional baggage to one side.
  • BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO BE VULNERABLE. Vulnerability is not weakness, it takes strength to be vulnerable with one another. Vulnerability is necessary for deep connection in relationships. And when aiming for the win-win, connection is a very good thing. You need to own your vulnerability and strength at the same time, so you don't fall into the victim role and expect the other person to 'rescue you'. 
  • OWN YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T BLAME IT ON OTHERS. Take responsibility for your emotional response. Be aware that you AREN'T your emotions, they are simply arising within you based on your interpretation of a situation. When expressing your side of the story, keep your emotions yours, and don't project blame (or praise) for them onto the other person. (For example: instead of saying "You made me feel unappreciated because you did X" try "When you did X, a part of me felt unappreciated." Then you can add what you would need instead, to feel a more constructive emotion/to achieve a win-win. But at all times, it's more empowering for both if you keep your responses yours and not the other person's fault).
  • DON’T TRY TO FIX OTHERS. Give the other people you're communicating with the respect they deserve and don't try to fix them in any way. Trust that they are the expert in their own life, they are on their own unique life path and that they are doing the best they can at any moment (as we all are). Whilst it can be helpful to contribute your perspective, it may be detrimental to your relationship and the outcome of the communication if you impose your advice on them.

Empowered communication is quite an art in my view. It's a constant dance between being aware of what's going on inside you, being aware of the other person, and it requires a balance between expressing yourself truthfully, being vulnerable, and owning your power at the same time.

I hope this post helps you get a little clearer on how you can master this art a step at a time and become an even more empowered communicator!

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